Page 2

Hello, is that the recovery service? It’s about the silver Escort, you said to ring back at 4 o’clock. How much? £1,000 to £2,000? Beyond economical repair? The steering, suspension, axle and body shell. Oh, yes, she was a nice car. Do you think you could do a written estimate of the repairs, and is it possible to get a second estimate the insurance needs two. Oh, only when the car can be fixed? So I need only one, well thank you anyway. I’ll get back to you on Monday then.”

“Hello, can I speak to Miss Ibbinson please…Mr Thomas, thanks. Oh hello Miss ibbinson, who? Yes, I’ll hold…oh the manageress, I’ve phoned about the repairs, and they estimate, they are at the moment, if it is repairable between one or two thousand pounds…look that car was beautiful before, there wasn’t a scratch on her…look do you know anything about how the body of the Mark II Escort is constructed on the unitary system? That means the body and the chassis is build in together…. that car was perfect before your employee choose to drive into the side of it…have you seen the damage to the car? Look I don’t know what your employee has been telling you, but if you’re that interest go and have look at the car for yourself.”

“She said the damage was done before.”

“Fucking bitch, what does she know about it?”

“Please god, let it be repairable. If it had been another car it wouldn’t have mattered, we get the best car we’ve ever had and it’s bloody gone in 8 days. Eight days, it bloody unbelievable, why that car, why that night, why, why, why?” We must have some rights? Someone can’t just drive around without insurance and get away with it. So he has 7 days to produce his documents before they arrest the bastard. God, you know, he could have killed someone.”

“My stomach aches, I feel really tense, god, I’d like to kill that bastard.”

“Morning. Sleep well? Me neither. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, it’s really gutting ain’t it? Eight days. I was going to go to the seaside to do some work this weekend, and could have gone to Thetford forest and seen my aunt Bet. I want to cry.”

“What a bloody Sunday.”

“Well try to relax we can’t do anything till tomorrow anyway.

Page 3

 

“No, I’ll go to the Citizens Advice Bureau….no, get that portfolio to the Royal College…Look I am capable of going there on my own…no, I’ll wait for you before going to the solicitor…yes, I promise…now get that pissing portfolio to the college this morning.”

“Does this bus go the Kensington Gore? Cheers.”

“Where you suppose to take these then? Alright I’ll follow you.”

“Downstairs, okay thanks”

“Tottenham Court Road please, thank you.”

“Bethnal Green please.”

“Rich, Rich.”

“Where were you? So what did the Citizen Advice Bureau say? Writing him a letter, go for the driver first. Alright let’s get going”

“Make a cup of tea, oh go on.”

“Hello, I wonder whether you could help me, my car was involved in an accident on Friday night, and I wondered would you give me some advice? Well he wasn’t insured…I’m third-party fire & theft…yes I know….his fault. He just came out of a junction and hit the front wing of the car…well I’ve written a draft…oh…hold him fully responsible and I intend to claim costs. Okay, ask him for his insurance…if he doesn’t have any, ask how he intends to deal with the matter. Right..yes…umm….yes….umm…right…yes….umm..okay…yes…umm…umm..umm. Well, I’ll do that…right…one to Miss Ibbinson…my insurance…send it registered delivery, okay…umm…umm…right, thanks, you’ve been a real help…yes, I’ll need all the luck I can get…thanks again…yes…bye.”

“Well lets get this letter to him.”

“Hello, can I speak to Adrian Smith please..oh his gone out…I’ve just missed him…when will he be back? Five minutes to an hour…who am I speaking to? Phil. Phil who? Fine, thank you very much.”

“Hello, can I speak to Adrian Smith please, not there…back in five minutes to an hour, right.”

“You try, they won’t put him on, they’re taking the piss, bastards.”

“Hello can I speak to Adrian Smith, No, oh. Who’s that then? The Manageress again. I wonder whether I could have Adrian’s address? 16 C..H..E..S.field..Chesfield Green…Edmonton N.9..8HA, Thank you very much.”

“I’ll go and get these photocopied, have you got the letter to Jane Ibbinson? Right, how many copies of these? One to her, one to the insurance and one for us, okay.”

“I’ve made a cup of tea”

Page 4

“It bloody annoys me, they’re all sitting in that office acting like nothings happened, and we’re the ones doing all the work. He’s working, we ain’t got a pot to piss in, we’re the one’s who couldn’t afford bloody insurance, but we do we drive around without it? No. We pay for it and what do you get for it? They don’t want to know…he’s bloody laughing. What do we have insurance for? We ain’t even paid for the bloody insurance, let alone the car, we’re going to be paying for a car we haven’t even go the use of. That was going to be my freedom. All that time in Nelly and nothing happened, eight days in that car and it’s gone, taken away by some little git. God, I’d like to…………grrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

“Hello, my car was involved in an accident…it’s a right-off and I wonder whether you could give me a rough estimate of it’s value…..1979….November 79…1600 Ghia….about 63,000…good condition…£1,500 trade…..£2,200 retail…no….the other bloke wasn’t insured….well thanks…cheers, bye.”

“Well, that’s roughly how much to replace the thing. The insurance said we were entitled to the full replacement value of the car.”

“I like that one, I really don’t want another one, it was just the right size, I didn’t need any cushions on the seat, I could see over the bonnet and I wasn’t embarrassed to be seen in it. Everyone I know has got convertibles or new cars. The first time I am proud of a car some shit-bag destroys it. Irresponsible git.”

“It was that Friday we’d drove to Epping forest, had a cup of tea and went for walk, came back and sat in the car. I moved the seat, this is the life for me, luxury, it suits me right down to the ground, no more old bangers that don’t go, one’s with stereos and carpets, yeah this is the life.”

“Please let it be repairable, please, if there’s a god up there, please.”

“Hello, it’s me again about the silver Escort brought in on Friday…right, I’ll hold…they’re getting the geezer….er..hello…right, yes…that’s right….oh…what no hope at all? You see the other fella wasn’t insured, so I’ll be suing personally…and it’s still a right off?…£50.00 recovery…£4.00 a day, right. I’ll try and get over to you tomorrow..yeah, thanks..”

“No, it’s unrepairable, the whole body’s gone, and the chassis. We’ll go tomorrow and take some photo’s of both of the car’s and pick up the written report, and we’ll go to Kilburn to do some photo’s of the road where it happened.”

“God, I’d like to put my hands around his f’ing neck and kill him.”

Page 5

“Make a cup of tea.”

“No, piss-off, you make it.”

“Alright”

“Hello, Ensleigh, I haven’t received the report form yet…could you tell me about the Motorists Legal Protection fund we took out? So you’ll send the report form on then, how long does that take? About ten days…fine, thanks.”

“Well, it was bloody lucky we took that fund out, it might save us a lot of hassle in the long run.”

“I tell you, if I’d known anything about insurance and what can happen, I would have been comprehensive, I wound’t have mucked around with third-party.”

“It’s double the price though.”

“I’m going to ring me mum.”

“…Well that’s the news so far…we are entitled to the full replacement value of the car, and what looks like good news at the moment is, we took out an additional protection…they say they’ll give us a solicitor and up to £10,000 worth of court costs…umm…I could cry…all I keep doing is shaking. We’re going to see the car tomorrow. No, nothing, it’s gone for good. The police reporting him for careless driving and we’ve got a witness. We’ve got to ring him to get his address……”

“Want a cup of coffee?”

“Yeah.”

“Who is it? Jacky, right put her on. Hello Jack…no worse than we thought…yeah you were right, the roof has gone…no, it would need an entire new shell, the chassis would need to be straightened or something, we might as well say goodbye to it. No, we still have to pay for it…if it does go to court, it will be a longtime. Well at least nobody was seriously hurt, though I’d like to damage that geezer….yeah….umm….umm. Change the subject, how yer doing then?…”

“Well, is everything typed then? Everything’s in order? Well we might as well walk down to the post office, what’s the time?”

“Quarter to five, hurry up then.”

Page 6

“I’d like to send this registered delivery, £1.38, Okay, and the fella will sign for it, what happens if he doesn’t?”

“It will be returned to the post office, they’ll leave him a note to say to pick it up, if he doesn’t, it will be returned to us.”

“Do you fancy something to eat?

“No, I don’t feel hungry, but I’ll have some tranquilizers to help me sleep.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it last night, it just seems always to come at the wrong time, it’s like being in a void, I can’t remember what I was doing before and I can’t even think about what’s going to be happening.”

“We should leave now if we are going to the recovery place. I’ve got to go to the station before we go anywhere, I’ve got to get a travel pass and get some film for that camera, but I’d better ring Tina before we go, and see what the hospital said about her injuries. I’m going to have to write it all down on the report form…where did I write down her number?”

“It’s here.”

“Hello, is Tina there? I bet she’s still in bed. I think I woke Tina. Hello Tina…did I wake you? What were your injuries? What did the hospital say? Sprained wrist and bruising, headache and whiplash. You should get on to the insurance brokers and they will help you make a claim….no, it won’t affect me, oh another thing, what occupation should I put down? Musician…tutor…okay. Thanks Tina, Oh we’re just about to leave to see the car, they said it’s a right-off, so we’re going to do some photo’s of it…umm Anyway, ring the insurance and they should be helpful and there might be a few bob in it for you…right be seeing yer…ta”

“Right, let’s get going.”

“Where do we change then? Bond Street…oh the Jubilee Line.”

“So where is this recovery place then?”

“They said across the road from the station.”

“I think that’s it across there, not there, oh it’s around the back.”

Page 7

“Good morning, I rang you about the silver Escort you were doing the repair bill for me..I know, he wasn’t insured, it’s a case of suing him personally. He’s got a job in a travel agency, certainly not rich.”

“Look mate, I see it everyday, cars come in here, they stay here for over a year in the hope of the other party paying for it. I’ve got a C registered Golf out there waiting to be paid the bill. Already over grand…listen, don’t let them muck you around, it’s you in the end who ends up paying for the thing. And don’t think you’ll ever get a car out of it, you might as well say goodbye to any thoughts of a car at the moment.”

“We took out a Motorist Legal Protection with insurance.”

“Oh them, they don’t do anything, they just sit on it, draw it out for a long time, then forget about it. No, nobody wants to know, when you ain’t fully comp.”

“Yeah, it’s out there, behind the red one, there’a a whole lot of unhappy cars out there, just sitting.”

“Fucking hell.”

“Look at our beautiful care….fucking ruined,…gor,…look….oh she was so nice….I don’t believe it”

“So the door won’t shut, look at the wheel, if I could get my hands on that bloke.”

“It was a nice car, shame, but we get them in here everyday, look at that Jag. Only 3 days old, but if you can afford a Jag you can afford fully comp insurance. His got a new car now, but third-party, you can whistle dixie.”

“What’s the damage?”

“Well, as you can see the wheels been pushed right back, that’s put a shudder through the body and that’s why the door can’t shut, the whole thing would need to be replaced…yeah, you could, but the man hours to do it would cost, just to replace the body would cost £2,000 and it just ain’t worth it.”

“Where’s their car?”

“Out front.”

“Why our car? Why did I go down that road? I could have gone the other way and missed him. If I’d been speeding then I would have missed him, why? It was so nice, eight bloody days, we didn’t even get out of London…let’s have a look at the car he was driving.”

“You’re joking? That heap? It’s a bloody mess…oh no, look at the inside, it’s bloody filthy, you mean they actually sat in that thing? Dirty bastards. I wouldn’t mind she can’t afford to buy a nice new place, but she can’t afford the time to clean the bloody car she uses? God what a heap, the tires are bloody bald, shit. Fucking gits?

“Come on, we’ll get some photos of the car, one to show the rust.”

Page 8

 

“This your car?”

“No, it’s the car that wrote our one off…look at the bloody state of this thing.”

“Where’s your car then?”

“It’s back there under the cover, it’s the silver Ford Escort, V reg.”

“What the Ghia?”

“Yes.”

“It was a nice car that. I went over it myself with the insurance bloke we have come down here. He reckoned the engine must have been done-up, judging by the condition of the body….then we had a look under the bonnet, cause if the c.c. had been mucked about with, that makes any claims on the insurance void. We were both shocked by the condition of the engine, I tell you whoever did the work on that done a real nice job. How much you been quoted on the price of the first class condition then? Well by the engine and the state of the bodywork you can add a fair amount on to that, that’s a really nice car. So is that bloke insured? No. You’re only third-party? Oh dear, but surely you can sue the insurance company of the woman who owned the car…you must be able to. I mean if I told someone to go fly that plane over there knowing he didn’t have a license, surely, I’d be to blame? Well if that the case, I’d take some photo’s of the tires, cause they’re illegal for a start. You got a two pence bit? Now take a picture of that…and that rust. I don’t know how people can be so stupid when driving around in cars. They’re weapons, not toys. We get ‘em in here all the time.”

“I’m as sick as a dog.”

“Let’s go and have a look at your car then. Though looking at it, it might be able to be fixed, though I haven’t had a proper look at the damage. Who told you? Oh well, that’s my guv’ner, and if he say that, his had a look at it. I wouldn’t argue with him.”

“We’ve got all the photos, right, let’s get everything out, there’s my gloves…oh, don’t forget the tapes, is there anything in the boot? Oh that’s Gab’s etching plate, I’d better take that.”

“Uuuuuuuueeee eeeeeeeoooooooouuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaa.”

“Let’s get the report form, we’ll have to get that off to the insurance as soon as possible. Right, okay. Yeah, we’ll try and get it removed as soon as we can…..try and get it scrapped? Right you’ll ring and tell us the best price…we can expect about £200. Well at least that will go towards the charges here, thank agains, cheerio.”

“Ta.”

“See ya.”

Page 9

 

“Where to now? Abbey Road, why? Oh you want a piss, well whenever you want a piss you’ll find a home…I ain’t starting on you, where we going? I thought you said it wasn’t far..no…I ain’t moaning, but it’s a bloody long was to go for a piss. Alright, so you’ve got to get them bloody documents, alright, alright, no, I’m not moaning, shut up, I can ‘ave a go if I want. Alright, I am pissed-off, we’re not even going to get another car, we’re going to have to traipse about like this, what for? Some bloody toe-rag…well who else can I ‘ave a go at? I’m enjoying having a go at you…shut up, bastard.”

“It’s just through these flats here.”

“My feet are freezing, its all your fault the weathers cold.”

“Alright, so-so…well, we’ve just come back from there…its a right-off…..put the kettle on….dad’ll know where the documents of the accident are, the one in 1980, in that old Fiat…no, I can’t remember what the company was either….no sugar thanks.”

“Yes, milk but no sugar, ta.”

“That’s the trouble with cars, you get one then they seem to hang round your neck for years.”

“I think I might try to get through to the processing department at Kilburn to see whether they realized his tires were bald. Hello, I’m ringing about an accident that happened Friday night. Kilburn Park Road and Rudolf Road….JBJ 88V…..OMK 224L…that’s right Friday night….oh they haven’t reached you yet. It’s just the other car wasn’t insured and we had a look at the car today and the tires were bald. I wondered whether the P.C. wrote it down….yeah…right….ok…so there’s nothing we can do till Thursday when the folder arrives. Thanks for looking…much obliged..cheers…bye. The folder hasn’t arrived from Harrow Road yet. Not till Thursday, three days to get there, it’s only a ten minute walk. It’s worse than the bleeding postoffice. So, the car will be done then, she rang while we were there, she told them to scrap it this evening…oh…I’ll go and have a piddle and we’ll go and get the photos of Kilburn Park Road.”

“I’ll get your mother to have a look for the documents to the car when she gets home from work, I’ll get her to give you a ring…good luck.”

Page 10

“Can we get a bus to this place then? What’s this road called? Where the bloody hell are we? Where the ‘f’ is West Hampstead in relationship to the rest of the world? Why couldn’t you have the accident closer to home?”

“Shut-up you miserable old bag, we’re nearly there, just down this road. Why do people have to use them small parks as rubbish bins? Pratt’s. Here it is, that’s the road he came out of.”

“But there’s plenty of visibility, he can’t say he didn’t see you.”

“Right, I’ll pace-out the size of the roads. Do’ya think that’s a yard?’

“Dunno.”

“One, two, three, four, five. And now across here, one, two, three…….”

“Er mind that car.”

“That’s twelve.”

“Ya dun’alf look silly walking like that, you look like a right berk.”

“Well thank you.”

“Come on, it’s freezing, what else we got to do? Oh, hurry up, look a number 28 bus…alright do the photos. My feet are about to drop. Right that’s it, Here’s a 31 bus, let’s get that. We might as well drop the film into the fast developing place, then grab something to eat.”

“£6.50 if we want it in an hour, or £4.25 if we pick it up tomorrow. we’ll pick it up tomorrow, thanks. It’s bloody snowing. Let’s pop in the bakers and get a cup of tea. Two coffee’s, a doughnut and an egg mayonnaise roll please….£1.89, here, thanks.”

Page 11

“Let’s have a look at where he works. That’s 24 over there, so it must be on this side, hold on, that’s 37 so we must have gone passed it. There’s the place, next to Barclays bank. Little gIts in there. Why don’t we go and talk to a solicitor and just try to find out where we stand, we can go to the one on Bethnal Green Road, we’ll get the tube back.”

“But, it will properly cost, that’s how they make their money ain’t it? Yeah, OK, I’ve still got a few pound left, let’s blast it on a solicitor.”

“Hello, would it be possible to see the solicitor.”

“Hold on and I’ll ring up….hello Tim….there’s some people down here wished to see you…ok…right….you’ll buzz…byyyyyee…yes he’ll ring down when his free.”

“Do you know whether it costs a lot to see him?”

“Weeell, I don’t know you see, I’m usually on the mortgages desk, I’ll just ask him…hello Ti they’d like to know how much it will cost….oh right, thanks, byyyee….well he’ll talk to you and find out what the situation is first then he’ll tell you, but the first few minutes he won’t charge for okay.”

“Well I had a car accident last Friday…..it’s a right-off…he wasn’t insured….Motorists Legal Protection….should we go and talk to him?….”

“I had a similar thing happen to me a few months back, where some man hit me in the back then he said I’d reversed into him, silly chap….I’m a solicitor and it still took me eight months to get it to court, and he wasn’t insured, Do go and see him, give him the opportunity to settle out of court…if he doesn’t co-operate you’ll have to sue him. I’ll take the case to court for you on legal aid, but I must point out that any money you recover, the Legal Aid will take to pay my fees, and I’m very expensive, I’ll probably cost about £1,00. And if you are awarded the money that’s a different thing. You could take any property he might own and sell it, empty his bank accounts or send Bailiffs in to take things from his home. But, that is if he owns anything in the first place, the courts could end up asking him to pay you weekly, but if he has any children he’s paying for through a previous marriage, he could say he couldn’t afford to pay much and you could end up with a payment of around five pounds a week, which isn’t a lot, since you’ve lost your car. Go and speak to him. First you are going to need a another engineer to go and value the car prior to the accident, and he might cost anything up to £70. Then write this chap a letter and tell him to get a motor engineer down to make a value on the car too, and inform him the car will only be in storage for 21 days and after that you cannot guarantee the car will still be there, as you will have to mitigate your expenses…..I feel sorry for you, when I was fighting my case I could just about afford these things, but you really must try to meet these bills and get rid of the car after the 21 days, that will keep the bill down somewhat…Here are some names of salvage people to ring and ask them to come and have a look at the car and give you a price. Now, if, you sign this legal aid form, yes just there you won’t have to pay for this meeting. Go and see him, if it’s a no go, you can come back to me and I’ll help out…okay, good luck.”

“Thanks.”

“Thanks, goodbye.”

Page 12

 

“Right, get the typewriter out, I’ll make some tea and we’ll get this sorted out, write the letter to Mr Adrian fart-arse Smith to tell him about the motor engineer and better send a copy to Ms Ibbinson too, I’ll finish the insurance accident report. There’s the tea, there’s the tranquilizers, alright then?”

“That’s everything typed, now we need the photocopies, d’ya wanna run down sweetshop to get some down?”

“No ‘East Enders’ is just about to begin in a minute, I wanna watch that, it’s the first bit of telly.”

“D’ya fancy a quick chili? No, me neither but we better eat something.”

“I’ve figured it out, I must have done something really awful in a previous life and that’s why I’m being plagued in this life. If only I could remember what I did and whether I enjoyed it, then it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Let’s get going to college then, you ready? Hold on, it’s the phone. Yes, well I’m on my way in at the moment….well, if you’d asked me last week it wouldn’t have been a problem I could have got it. I haven’t got the car anymore…no, I don’t know anyone who could do it…well I’ll see when I get in….thanks…bye. That was Marigold, she’d found somewhere to get them dust sheets I wanted and could I go and pick them up in the car.Uuuuuuooooooaaaarrrruuuuuuuaaaa. Life is against me I tell ya.”

“We could pop in to see that bloke and ask what he intends to do about the car.”

“No.”

“It wouldn’t take long and it’s on the way, I’ll talk to him.”

“No, not today I can’t handle it, alright?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”

Page 13

 

“God, I heard, how’s Richard, is he alright.”

“Yeah, he’s fine but the car’s gone…no, it can’t be fixed.”

“I bet you’re really pissed off about that, but there must be something you can do to get the money for another car?”

“Sure, we’re entitled to another, but there’s no way we’re going to get it. We can take it to court and end up with small repayments for years….No, what’s worse is, we haven’t paid for the sodding car yet.”

”Fuck.”

“Fucked.”

“Alright Phil, how are you doing?…He’s alright….no nothing we can do yet….well He wanted to go and see him today to try to talk to him……well there’s always hope, ain’t there?”

“Na, that bastard need a fucking hiding, that’s what he needs. You can’t talk to wankers like him, he’ll just laugh, like that night, he was really laid back like he couldn’t give a toss. No, ya gotta threaten the bloke. Na, don’t bother taking him to court, you ain’t gonna get anything out of him, no you gotta scare the bloke, no good taking it to the courts the law ain’t for the poor it’s never been. The law don’t wanna know about the people like us, we should go and get him and shit him up, you ain’t going to get any money out of that sod.”

“I’d love to beat the git up, but our only chance at the moment is by play it by the book, if that fails then I personally would kill him, but we got to play by the book first, we gotta give it a go.”

“You’re fucking mad, you ain’t going to get shit out of that geezer.”

“It just annoys me, that he life continues, he ain’t lost nothing and we’re left with a right mess, I feel like coshing the bastard.”

“I could go and superglue his key holes every night.”

((((  I go into my studio, my life’s a puzzle, bleeding puzzle, too bloody right. I cover my pieces with a bloody big ‘if’ and the wave hits again, cause that’s how I feel and it fits. It seems just like another big bit of an enormous puzzle and nothing changes except maybe the shape.  ))))

Page 14

Open up Nan, it’s only us. Aunt Bet, hello, I didn’t know you were up from Norfolk. Good to see you.”

“Yer mum and Mike told me about the car, terrible ain’t it? But at least no one was badly hurt. So have you heard anything about what’s going to happen yet? I was going to ask you to take me to see Aunt Bet, but Bubby brought her up to London instead. I was telling her about what a nice little car it was.”

“Yes, cause you know, I’ve one of them new Escorts. You know they are very nice cars, but these things are sent to try you, at least you have your health, after all, it’s only a bit of metal in the end.”

“I’ve been down Roman Road today, you know the stall where you get your gloves? Well his had these hats 2 for fifty pence.”

“Judging by Aunt Bets face they ain’t that nice.”

“I’ll go up and get ‘em and show you them. Where d’y put ‘em Bet?”

“I suppose they’re alright for in the garden when it’s very cold, no one can see you down where I am, can they?”

“Look, here they are, they’re not that bad are they? Val took one.”

“Give us a knees up.”

“Silly moo.”

“Well don’t worry about the car, something might turn up for you, you never know.”

“We better be going, we’re going to see that bloke tomorrow. Night both of you. Aunt Bet if you’re still around I’ll properly see you, if not enjoy your stay.”

“Right, we’ll see him before going into college, want a coffee before we leave? It’s another bloody day I’m going to miss. I’ve got to get in for that meeting this afternoon, well at least everything is prepared for that.”

“I’ll do the talking when we get there, I’ll be able to stay a lot calmer than you. You keep well out of it and we’ll try to give him a chance of settling the whole thing. I’ll be really nice, we ain’t got nothing to lose by being nice to the bugger, but you remember to keep your mouth shut, okay? Where’s the tranquilizers? It’s alright I got ‘em, right then, you remember to shut your face.”

“This trains taking its time, 20 minutes and we haven’t even reached Bank yet.”

“This train terminates here, this train terminates here, please find another route to your destination, this train terminates here due to a signal familiar at this station, this train will not be going any further.”

Page 15

“Typical, right we’ll have to get the Circle line to Nottinghill.”

“This next train at this station will be approximately 9 minutes.”

“We’re never going to get on this train, this is a joke.”

“Hello, I’d like to speak to Adrian Smith please, is he about? Yes, he is expecting us, thanks.”

“I’m Adrian’s manageress, I’m representing Miss Ibbinson as she can’t be here.”

“Well it has nothing to do with Miss Ibbinson at the moment.”

“Well it has, because it was Ms Ibbinson’s car that was destroyed in the accident and she is extremely upset about the whole thing.”

“I assure you we are extremely upset about the whole thing too, and as you know our car is beyond economical repair, as I mention in my first letter, have you received the first letter yet?”

“Yes, I have it with me.”

“Well, as I said in that, we are holding you fully responsible for the accident and the damage to our car and we intend to claim for the replacement of our car.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking, and I think I wasn’t as much to blame as I first thought after the accident and I think you are as much to blame, cause…’er…it was your car that went into my car… and it won’t as much my fault as I thought at the time.

“I thought you might come up with something like that, so I brought with me some photos of the damage to both cars, now look at the damage to the care your driving and look at mine. For me to have been responsible for the damage to your car, my car would have had to have driven sideways and that is impossible.”

“Well, er the damage to my car, wasn’t done hitting yours, it was done when I drove into the bollard in the middle of the road.”

“Oh, don’t talk rot, we’ve got photos’s of that bollard and it’s still there, and it’s made out of plastic, there’s no way that bollard was responsible for the damage.”

“It was. It was done when I hit the bollard, I hardly touched our car.”

“Oh, so the damage just appeared out of nowhere then?”

“Adrian has told me everything that happened and he’s gong for equal liability, cause it wasn’t all his fault was it?”

“What do you know about it?”

“I’ve got a law degree, Adrian has nothing to lose by taking this this matter to court and the truth will come out then, so we might as well take the matter there.”

”Look your employee was to blame entirely for that accident, if he hadn’t come straight out of that turning I wouldn’t be here now and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Page 16

 

“It wasn’t my fault coming out of that turning, even the policeman said it was a bad junction and it was understandable that I came out, and something was going to happen sooner or later, and it was raining.”

“Oh, so that’s what the policeman said to you was it?”

“What insurance did you have? Third-party…I’ve told Adrian that the firms solicitor will handle the case so you better take him to court.”

“You’re free giving this advice, but are you going to help him pay at the end of the case when he has to pay?”

“You’re third-party, just take him to court.”

“It just so happens we are covered for things like people like your employee going around without insurance…and they will be taking your employee to courts, not us….and he will be the only one paying for legal costs.”

“What cover? What’s the name of it? Don’t worry Adrian you’ll get legal aid, we’ll see that for you.”

“And is legal aid going to pay when the truth comes out?”

“Shut up Den, let me deal with it.”

“Your friend seems like a reasonable chap.”

“Look that car is worth in replacement, maybe £2,000, so we’ve sent you another letter that should reach you by tomorrow informing you to get a motor engineer down to value the car, it will only be there for another 21 days and after that we will have to have it scrapped to pay off the storage fees, but I intend to charge you for those expenses too.”

“Well, we will just do that. Yes we will do that, and we will fight it all out in court. You just want a new car don’t you? That’s all you want really want. Right, goodbye.”

“Well I pity you, is she going to help you out at the end? She’s full of advise cause she ain’t got nothing to lose, has she?”

“Fucking, fucking bitch, god I’d to punch that frustrated stuck up cow, ‘you just want a new car don’t you?’ what does she know…8 fucking days and she says we want a ‘a new car.’ that was a new car.”

“I thought you were going to be the one who was all calm and collected, instead you’re wanting to kill them, fat lot of good taking those tranquilizers did for you.”

“God his told so many lies, ‘it’ll all come out in court’, just wait till she finds out that her precious little Adrian’s been lying through his bum-hole.”

Page 17

“At least they don’t know anything about the witness, obviously he didn’t see the fella. What’s happened is, his told some lies at first to get out of trouble with that Jane Ibbinson and that old bag’s believed him and now his got braver and is telling more. Well at least there is an independent witness that saw the whole thing. So we will have to to court after all, ‘it’ll all come out,’…silly moo, ‘I got a law degree,’ so what’s she doing working in a bloody travel agency with a law degree? You should have kept calm it only makes the situation worse when you get eat up like that. She was trying to get you going, she wanted you to take a swing at her.”

“I couldn’t help it, she just rubbed me up the wrong way with her snotting remarks. I wanted to  swing for her, nothing would have given me more pleasure than putting my fist in that bloody revolting face of hers. I was so annoyed, how could she say them things? She didn’t know anything about the accident, how could she believe the damage to that car was done by hitting that bollard, bullshit.”

“Well maybe, when the Motorists Legal Protection meet with his solicitor and he finds out he was reported for careless driving and there’s a witness, and he hasn’t been truthful with them, maybe they might go for a settlement out of court. Though I can’t see it not, if it’s a company solicitor, He won’t have anything to lose taking it to court, cause he’ll be getting his costs paid.”

“Well I hope it doesn’t have to go to court, it means waiting over a year just to get it there Then going through with that, just to get a settlement of £5 a week if we’re lucky. She knows we ain’t going to get anything, even if we do go to court, he’s going to get off scot-free “

“I’ll go and make the tea, alright?”

“F’ing hell. Why? Oooooooo why? I hate people who lie, why do people lie? We ain’t going to get a car for at least two years now, bloody hell and my driving license only came through this morning. That’s being born lucky for ya, and we’ve got to pay for the privilege of being without a car, and he ain’t got to bloody worry.”

“Here’s your tea, look so things are going to take a bit longer than we would have liked, we’ve no choice in the matter just wait and see what happens.”